September has been quite a month for us here. As you have seen in other posts, Mitchel was enrolled in a preschool, which didn't work out for us or the teacher and ended up having to leave that. But from that we were directed in a another direction for Mitchel. We did actually go in and do testing and Mitchel has been diagnosed with Autism. He is 'high functioning' and I have had some people question the difference between 'Autism' and 'Aspergers'... let me fill you in on the difference. Aspergers is when a child develops language skills on pace with a normal child, but has some Autism symptoms. Autism is when language is developed very late and sometimes not at all. There are more things that divide the two, but the main part it is based off of is the development of language. Mitchel didn't say more than 5 words 'til he was 3. One beautiful blessing is how much LOVE this little boy has and loves to share with those he trusts, keyword being 'TRUSTS', but hay I'm not much different than him there :) I have known since Mitchel was 18 months old that there was something different about him. When we moved to Washington we were able to get him into an awesome program that he did really well in and with constantly repeating everything at home he did really well. I remember the first time he played with a car the way a person normally does...it took me 6 months to teach him that.I have been needing to write this post to unmask myself. I have read and researched Autism a LOT and I knew this was what Mitchel had, but I also saw and knew how people would treat him different once this label was put on him. Even writing this makes my heart break as I have seen people do this because they just don't understand. He falls in such a hard spot. He doesn't
understand a lot and can get very frustrated in social play groups and interacting with other children and can lash out. Then the kids don't want to play with him or the parents don't want them to play with him, he knows he's not wanted and is left alone and hurt. As a mother and seeing this, nothing breaks my heart more. So I took it upon myself to be there by his side when we would go out. So to the mothers that love play dates because they can let their kids go play, I must admit I am jealous, for me for the past 4 years I am by his side giving him words, helping him talk to friends and mask this Autism from others. But as I have learned, the older a child gets the harder this is to do because I can't always be there. It's been really hard for me to know I have to step back to admit out loud that Mitchel is Autistic (tho, I have always known), because I see him as such a blessing, an amazing gift to me and to know people will and can view him as less breaks me to pieces. So to family and friends I apologize. I know I have been more distant and not necessarily plugged into our relationships, but that has been because I've been so plugged into Mitchel. When I visit people I never just relax, because I am constantly listening for Mitchel and my thoughts are constantly focused on how he is handling things, how 
he's playing, the tone of his voice (tells me a lot about his levels of frustration), watching his hands for the signs of hitting coming on, so to you all I'm sorry. I have been so plugged into Mitchel and trying to make his life happy I haven't been able to connect with many of the wonderful family and friends Heavenly Father's blessed me in my path of life.I feel really vulnerable as I have never let so much out and good because now I know those that want to love and support Mitchel can understand more of why he is who he is and if you'd ask me if I could change him, No, because this is my little boy. Autism or not, he is my little man who has been the meaning of my life as a mother and so many times my little best friend. I hope this can help you all love Mitchel like the awesome little boy he is and know how much he does love you all.
Oh and he got 2 birds! He totally kept his part of an agreement and now we have 'Blue & Ferb' in our home and Mitchel does AWESOME with them, it's been pretty cool to watch.
9 comments:
Oh Kristen I'm glad you were finally able to tell people and depend on us a little too. I have always loved Mitchel and this doesn't change anything at all! He is such a loving and sweet boy and I just love him so much!
He's so lucky to have you and Cory! Heavenly Father knew you needed each other. Hang in there, we love you guys!
He is such a cutie pie! I just love his smile. Mitchel is definitely in the best hands there is - you guys are awesome parents!
Autism defines what a person has not who they are. Mitchel is a very sweet and loving boy. The kids at playdates love him, especially MJ. He thinks the world of Mitchel and asks about him just about every day. I am very sorry that he is being labeled by others, esp. by other Moms. That's down right shameful. I am so sorry for the pain this causes, but you have a great family and friends for support. So don't be too proud to reach out to them. With everything, this is a process and it will hopefully get easier with time.
There is nothing to change about Mitchel, he's pretty awesome just as he is!
I love his cheesy grin:)
MJ saw the pics of Mitchel w/birdies. I am sure he will get a kick out of seeing them.
Anyone who thinks having autism makes Mitchel "less" doesn't deserve to know him. You are such an awesome mom! And he is one lucky boy. We have an autistic nephew whom we adore, and one of my very best friends has 6 boys, THREE of whom are autistic. They are some of the coolest, sweetest kids I know. Good luck in your journey! Owen has ADHD and anxiety and I have spent a lot of time reading up on pretty much every possible disorder.
Thank you for sharing this personal, and real, part of your life. I remember when we were first getting to be friends & you shared your concerns about Mitchel. And some things surprised me. Having not spent as much time with him as you (obviously)
I just saw another active, sword-wielding, happy boy for Danny to play with. Mitchel is such a sweet kid - he's so lucky to have you for his mom on this journey. We love you & miss you!!!
I love you Miss Kristen. We only had the prividge of meeting Mitchel once, but he immedietly wiggled his way into our hearts. Diagnosis or none, Mitchel is still Mitchel, and Kristen is still Kristen. Both with a different path in front of you than you may have planned, but with a whole lot of people on the path right behind you :) Love you and wish we weren't so far away.
PS- Birds names are totally Fabulous!
Mitchel is still the same darling little boy and this diagnosis will hopefully garner more compassion and patience for his behaviors and struggles, rather than judgment. He will be able to get the help he needs, help and education that will be tailored to help him blossom!!
As far as the Asperger's, I hadn't heard that difference, I would love to hear more. My brother was diagnosed (finally) with Aspergers at the age of 16, but he didn't speak a word until he was almost five years old. When he did start speaking, he was quoting feature-length movies. He was good at memorization, not so much at meaningful conversation. I'm not sure what that means, if anything, but I thought I would put that out there.
Oh, I feel like with the summer and fall that we have had with our special boys, it would just be so nice to sit in your (much more exciting) back yard and let the boys explore and play while we sipped lemonade and commiserated about our fears and hopes for the future. I know what you mean about that monumental moment when they do something "normal" that took them so long to learn on their own. You are such a wonderful mommy for him. The perfect mommy for him, of course! LOVE YOU, KRISTEN!!!
I am so proud of you for being open about Mitchel's struggles! Never fear, the world will love Mitchel exactly as he is!
Taran was finally diagnosed with very high functioning autism by the school district when we moved to Minneapolis. Even though the school diagnosed him, we didn't go and see a doctor until last year to have him medically diagnosed. We wanted to avoid the label. Labels are very scary.
It turned out to be just fine and what he really needed. I realized that Taran was not alone with his autism and I wasn't the only freaked out mother.
I'd known Taran was his own person since he was two. He never fit in with the other kids well and he was the personality to never care. It only bothered me. Of course every kid is different. I'm sorry Mitchel feels left out. People can be mean, but there are a lot of people who will understand and help if they can.
Perhaps this is too flippant, but a friend of mine once told me a quote her father would say to her with pride, "Every kid in the parade is out of step except for my boy Johnny."
We think that fits Taran to the letter. He is happy with who he is and everyone else and I just need to learn to fall in step with him.
I know you and Cory and Mitchel are going to find a way to continue your awesomeness!
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